Three things to never ask a woman over 30

I’m going to start this post by saying that this is definitely different from my usual beauty and lifestyle posts. Please take note, before I dive right in this post, that this is in no way meant to offend. It is merely an insight into an average group of 30 something’s private conversations (after a few glasses of Prosecco) so here we go…

Three things to never ask a woman over 30!

We seem to have become a society where it has become acceptable (outside of our inner circle of friends or family group) to ask personal questions like the ones that I have listed below. For the record this is NOT okay! It never has been and it never will be! Would it be acceptable for me to ask a complete stranger what colour underwear they were wearing if any? The answer is no! So the same rules apply here. Maybe this is me suddenly being very ‘British’, in most cases it is just me being socially aware of the situations and circumstances that people are in these days.

1. Do you own your own property?

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So yes that is what my dream house would look like, ideally in the nicest part of North London! But without winning the lottery or dreaming up and creating an app/game the equivalent of Candy Crush Saga, we all know that is a dream that I can keep on dreaming.

In reality, being a first time buyer is extremely difficult. With larger and larger deposits required, and the threat of being out bid by a cash buyer more and more people are finding it harder to get on the property ladder. Most people don’t want to live at home or rent forever. However, the facts show that buying on your own without a very large deposit and decent income to support your mortgage payments and lifestyle can be a struggle!

2. When are you getting married?

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I’m married so this doesn’t really apply to me now. However, prior to meeting Mr J, I would get asked this question all the time especially when I went to Indian weddings with my family. It was the single most annoying question that anyone asked me. For one, it was a big ‘Thank You’ for being reminded that I was single, and if the intention was really to help, did they have anyone suitable in mind? I didn’t think so! The only thing those conversations achieved was to remind me why I never want to go to a wedding unattached. So my advice to anyone that freely asks this question, please DON’T unless you have the ability to match make or help the person in question.

Then we have scenario 2: You’re a couple and not married. So I’m also guilty of asking question number 2 myself but only to people I know and in an open conversation. I think sometimes people believe that everyone wants to get married, and some simply don’t. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Common reasons being that the couple don’t need a paper to define their relationship, aren’t religious, or would rather spend their savings trying to achieve question one – to buy a property! Let’s face it I’m sure there are plenty of people who would like to get married but simply can’t afford it. So what’s my advice? Next time you ask this question to a stranger, be ready to offer a financial contribution to their big day! 😉

3. When are you having a baby?

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This to me is the ultimate sin bin question and maybe I am more aware of this than others as im a girl and I have many friends that are in the same situation. We as a society are having kids more and more later in general.  All down to many factors but mainly careers, and questions one and two above. Whilst a woman’s life expectancy has increased the window in which we can have children has not.  Therefore in simple terms the older we are the harder it is. I have had many friends who have or are struggling to get pregnant, where it be that it is just not happening of they have had to suffer heartache through a miscarriage etc in their quest to become parents. Therefore my parting message on this topic is please stop asking! Unless you know the person or couple very well, you don’t know what they are going through or suffering.  Let them tell you what they want to, as i’m sure when they are, and are in the all clear they will be jumping for joy!

Mrs J xx

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